Has anyone checked on Jeremy Allen White’s ex-wife?
Addison. Her name is Addison!!! And I don’t know why I’ve imprinted on her but I have and I think of her often. When that ad came out (you know the ad), when pictures of JAW and Rosalia holding hands first appeared, and many times during the current awards season, I found myself navigating back to Mrs. White’s instagram page and wondering how she was faring.
Perhaps because there’s no mystery in how our Chef turned Calvin Klein model is doing. My mother texted me that ad. She loves THE BEAR. If my midwestern Colombian mother knows who you are, you’ve hit the big time. Mr. White is basking in the kind of fame and fortune that weird-sexy short kings rarely get to enjoy. And to be clear- we love that for him! Hoorah for J.Whah! We heart a success story. But as a deeply flawed and jealous individual, the story I find much more interesting and relatable is Addison’s. It can’t be easy to watch your ex-husband living out both your dreams for the whole world to see.
If you’re new to this drama of the ages- Addison and Jeremy met when they were but teens (basically tweens) in youth acting programs. Addison raves in a 2023 IG post about bearing witness to JAW’s brilliance when they met at 14. Adorable.
Now let’s time jump to 2014. “Happy” by Pharrell is everywhere. We’re still experimenting with how pre-ripped our jeans can get before they’re unwearable. And Addison and Jeremy have been dating for… maybe a year? I don’t know. I draw the line at constructing a relationship timeline. When I’m cross referencing dates from PEOPLE and POPSUGAR articles I’ve gone too far. But it seems they were pretty on-again, off-again. Either way, they’ve both had moderate success as actors. Jeremy has been a series regular on SHAMELESS for several years now. A steady job that hasn’t made him a household name, but any working actor should be so lucky. Addison’s path it much more typical. A handful of indie films and TV guest stars, but nothing huge when !!SUDDENLY!! the role of a lifetime appears.
Addison is cast as Lucinda “Luce” Price in FALLEN - the film adaptation of a wildly successful teen fantasy novel of the same name. It was a tale of fallen angels and star crossed lovers, meant to be a trilogy. The last TWILIGHT film had premiered in 2012 and Kirsten Stewart was a fucking star. This FALLEN film had a 40 million dollar budget, would shoot five months in Hungary, and was poised to be the next big thing. CAN YOU IMAGINE??? This was it! This was her big break!! Jeremy’s SHAMELESS money paid for the Atwater apartment, but Addison’s Angel money would be buying the Hancock Park home.
Alas. It was not to be. I recently watched the film and in my overly kind review it’s… not good. Critics are quick to point out the boring script, the lack of chemistry between the two leads, and cruelly most reviewers only pause their take down of the film to praise a comedic actress in a secondary role, an already established Lola Kirke.
“The only person who appears to be having any fun here at all is Lola Kirke, an actress who is quickly gaining a reputation as the Lili Taylor of her generation. … Kirke easily walks away with the picture. The fact that she can rattle off her clunky dialogue with such ease … is a testament to how fabulous a performer she is.” - Rogerebert.com
Yes, Kirke is pretty good in the film but that’s because she’s the only character allowed to be anything other than impenetrably moody. She walks on screen and we sigh with relief. “Oh thank god, a normal-ish high schooler with a sense of humor. Save us from these un-sexy angels.” Which is the fault of the screenwriter and director! We should like our leads!! We should want them to *kith*!! The bad script did Timlin and her co-star (Jeremy Irvine) few favors, but besides that they just seemed ill-paired. Edward and Bella were also awkward and humorless, but damnit if their sexual, borderline cannibalistic tension wasn’t everything.
FALLEN was a flop. By 2016 the film was released to a small theatrical audience and an even smaller VOD one. It received 7% on rotten tomatoes. SEVEN PERCENT. Truly I think a single digit review is a bit dramatic, but it works for this Shakespearean tragedy I’m weaving so we’ll go with it.
So imagine thinking you’re going to be the next Kristen Stewart and then the film is buried, the sequels are canceled, and cute-as-a-button Lola Kirke is the only one praised in the mostly scathing reviews.
But wait, there’s more. Addison is also besties with Dakota Johnson. Hot as hell movie star Dakota Johnson. 50 SHADES OF GREY came out in 2015, arguably an equally bad/ weird film. It fared slightly better than FALLEN with a 25% on Rotten Tomatoes (for the record I don’t put much stock into RT and you can read about how it’s rigged here, but it supports my narrative so we press on). 50 SHADES is not a good film either! The leads famously disliked each other! It was both uncomfortably sexual and yet not sexy enough! But it was a more anticipated title and although it reportedly had the same budget as our Angel flick, SHADES made 569 MILLION at the box office. FALLEN supposedly made its money back with a humble 41 mil but that number feels as padded as a middle school bra. The SHADES trilogy did not get canned. It was a global hit. Dakota, nepo baby that she is, did her time in leather straps and did in deed become a movie star.
This is where I assume Addison is an actual angel and also made of steel, because it must be hard to be supportive of your best friend as they become a huge star, and not let the little green monster of envy strangle you with your own intestines. Fast forward to January 2024 and Johnson has just hosted SNL. The weekend before, ex-husband Jeremy took home his second golden globe for THE BEAR and released a Calvin Klein ad that broke the internet. And who is likely watching their kids while he does press for IRON CLAW?? The amount of mindfulness and fortitude it would take to be this woman right now is beyond me!!
So let’s see if I’ve answered the question my partner posited me a few weeks ago. “Why do you feel so sorry for this hot, rich, white woman??” Because there but for the grace of God go I!!! We’re all two seconds away from our exes being more successful than us!! We all have friends we adore and would die for but are also heinously jealous of!! We’ve all had those moments we thought would change our lives, only to watch them disintegrate like wet lottery tickets! And yet we continue to raise kids (cat in my case) and keep working on our careers which feel foolish and small sometimes but damnit they’re still ours!
And I dunno I like her instagram captions. She’s a good writer. Or maybe I’ve fallen into the trap of over-empathizing with someone just because they’re like, really pretty. Yet I don’t feel a connection to the equally pretty Dakota Johnson because her life appears to be as epic and saccharine as a Coldplay song. I’m over intellectualizing it- sometimes we just para-socially bond with people and I’ve bonded with Ms. Timlin.
My wishes for Addison be three: a latin popstar lover of her own, work that she is proud of, and a boundless love that she extends to herself as much as her famo friends!! May we all keep living for the dream and supporting our besties and exies like Addison.